The Conversation.

My brain is all mushy.

Lack of sleep from last night.

Work in less than an hour.

Feeling a little sick as well. Why does my body decide now would be a good time to get a bloody cold/flu? Now that I'm trying NOT to smoke and I have 4loor and RENT coming up like uh... really soon. Nice one, immune system. You bastard.

Anyway, I'm posting another video that I cried to. This is Julia Nunes and I'm a little bit in love with her, check out her big eyes and her amazing voice and in this video check out her "I'm not going to cry" face. D: . This is a Motion City Soundtrack cover of hers, but she also does originals on Ukulele and all that kind of stuff.

A Failed Piece Of Christmas Spirit...

This week has been crazy!

We have builders in and around my house on a regular basis, our house is being ripped up and reformed to something that will hopefully be better. We have had to try and move as much stuff as possible out of our main living area, which means other parts of the house are posing as other other parts of the house. So, the laundry is now the kitchen, the spare bedroom is the living room, the smallest room in the house where we hang all the washing and do the ironing is now the dining room and the main living area is a vast echo-y empty space, not unlike the abyss.

The back and front yards now look like a massive shitty sand pit with Tonka trucks that have been forgotten by the little kidlettes that were playing with them at recess. And the only way i can get to my bedroom (which is now riddled with gravel and dirt) is through the laundry door on the other side of the house.

I can't wait until its all finished, it's going to take some time though...

Also, in my parents attempt to get rid of things we don't need in the most practical way possible, every night when we have dinner, we must have one Christmas Bon-Bon. It's both hilarious, and at the same time inevitably disappointing. Any normal family would only have to put up with the crappy "toy", the crappy "joke" and the paper hat which makes everyone look ridiculous only once every year. But we have to do this every night until they run out. A truly failed piece of Christmas Spirit. In July.

On the up-side, I have spent the last three nights at Michael's house. So much fun!!! This is where I am right now. Oh, the adventures. :) I have gone back to my normal self, and I am rather happy. :D :D :D

The parents return this afternoon, so I have to go back to the topsy turvy demolition site.

I'm also putting up some crappy Photo Booth photos which I took about 5 minutes ago.

Finally!!!

New Stencils, check em...

Also, they are at the skate park if you want to have a sticky beak. :)

The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)

I am back to my love for Tom Waits, I can honestly not get enough of this man.
These lyrics are just gorgeous, and the piano does actually sound like it has been drinking. Tom, you clever clever son of a bitch...



The Piano Has Been Drinking

The piano has been drinking
my necktie is asleep
and the combo went back to New York
the jukebox has to take a leak
and the carpet needs a haircut
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
cause the telephone's out of cigarettes
and the balcony's on the make
and the piano has been drinking
the piano has been drinking...

and the menus are all freezing
and the lightman's blind in one eye
and he can't see out of the other
and the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
and he showed up with his mother
and the piano has been drinking
the piano has been drinking

cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
cream puff casper milk toast
and the owner is a mental midget
with the I.Q. of a fencepost
cause the piano has been drinking
the piano has been drinking...

and you can't find your waitress
with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends
and you just can't get served
without her
and the box-office is drooling
and the bar stools are on fire
and the newspapers were fooling
and the ash-trays have retired
the piano has been drinking
the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

I'm also currently listening to "Little drop of Poison" which is another fantastic song by him. My god.

So, this week has been rather nocturnal and crazy. As fun as it has been, I actually can't wait to get back into a regular sleeping pattern. I have lost so much sleep and the days have just kind of blended into each other. So this Saturday I will stay at home, cosy myself up and rest. Might also read Tom Waits' biography. Oh, and Michaels script. :D Making a new stencil might be doable as well. I was thinking of doing a bat, Tom Waits, or a few of the Ministry Of Silly Walks poses. Let's see how they turn out.

Oh, Boy!

I have decided I look much like a boy today. This is what happens when you wake up late and neglect any kind of hair styling or make-up when you are me. If I had a twin brother, this is what he would look like. Mind you, this collared shirt from work and the jacket aren't helping either. In black and white, I could maybe look like one of the Beatles.

Anyway, I am watching the car yard for mum today. This means, lots of sitting and maybe answering a phone...should it ring. Its awesome though, because they have this massaging thing that you sit on your seat and you plug it in and then you are massaged and warmed. So, all is well!

I should probably update the very recent events.
I am IN A RELATIONSHIP. Haha I hate saying IN A RELATIONSHIP. It sounds so bloody serious and grown-up. Eww. But Michael is lovely. :D Brilliant musician. And his hair is amazing.

I have to do a presentation at work tomorrow night on Garage Band. And even though it's not really a big event or anything, I am a little bit shitting myself. Although, I did make this hilarious song on GB and that will be a, lets say, "interesting" ice-breaker. Rather weird and quirky little introduction to the software.

But yeah. Thats pretty much all I can think of at the moment. I should get writing soon. We have a gig in August. While I'm here, may as well spend the time doing that. I have a couple more songs to write for. :D

Ok, I've also taken a couple of Photo Booth pics of me looking manly. Hehehehehe enjoy muchly. Oh and if you read this, Leave a comment and let me know if I look better as a boy or girl. Hahahaha

Momma Sed - Puscifer

So I have recently been introduced to Puscifer, and I'm in love with it!! Maynard James Keenan is one of my favourite people in the entire world, there is nothing he has created which I haven't fallen madly in love with. I haven't yet had the chance to listen to the whole album, but this will be the month where I listen to nothing but this one album.



There is something wrong with me I think right now. I don't feel comfortable or normal or creative or anything. I spend my days planning escapes, followed through with one yesterday (I quit one of my jobs) and I hate everything again. I'm so unmotivated. I wish I was something else right now. Something better.

Success!

So I have been doing a little bit more with this stencil art and it's actually turning out ok! I'm so very proud of myself! Iv'e made up a basic stencil of an old school microphone and painted it onto some art paper. Just one layer, quite basic, but very effective. :)

And excuse the poor photo quality, but my memory card is ruined!!! which means i need a new one which also means I can't upload new pictures onto my computer (I have lost the usb cable for my camera as well so UGH.). So I have taken this photo with Photobooth and cropped it! Hahaha talk about improvisation.

But I digress. Heres the beginnings of my stencil art.

I am also going in a few minutes to get my hair cut, so I'll put up photos of my new cut later on. :D

Experimenting

So, I've had this intrigue with graffiti and stencil art for some time now, and today I have had a little play with a couple of stencils I've made and some spray paint which I just bought.

At the moment, it's probably not great quality (in fact, I'm sure it's not), but it's the first time I've actually used spray paint and stencils before, so I guess the only thing to do is practise and hopefully get better.

The stencil I made was of Kurt Cobain holding his arms in the air wearing a baggy black and white jumper. It looks really cool, but i have to keep practicing and hopefully I'll get it right soon.

Dreamin'

So my dreams have been few lately, but really vivid. And really hard to remember. But I do know I dreamt about Canada this morning and there was this look out where if you stood on the top, you would see something completely different each time. And no one knew about the look out. And then the people I was with (I can't remember who was there) decided to go home, so I went with them, and Orange itself was colder than Canada in Winter. So we went back to Canada. :D

And yeah there have been a few of those recurring dreams of being in attics which are like mazes and they keep going up and up and up. I have lots of those dreams.

I can remember a really small fraction of a dream I had a couple of nights ago, the only bit I remember is seeing my friends face kinda close up, but all distorted and warped, like he was behind broken glass or something. It's really odd that that's all I can remember from that dream.

How crazy are the recurring dreams though, right? I used to have one years ago about being at Pa's house, the house was different in the dream to how it was in real life, but it was always the same in the dream. And I had a couple of dreams where at night an Aboriginal tribe would come and tell us that our property was on their land and then they would haunt/curse us until we left. They were always in traditional war paint and everything too.

And for some obscure and bizarre reason, I seem to always have dreams about MASSIVE toilets, as in like the toilets a school or something, not one massive toilet, but the rooms are MASSIVE and they keep winding through corridors and each cubicle is unique. Love those dreams. :D

But yes, usually I tell people about my dreams, but no one is here, so I thought I'd blog about them.

Day Off!!!

This is a glimpse of what I do on my days off. They mainly involve trying on clothes, listening to music, maybe writing and maybe a tiny bit of arting, photoboothing and eating. Oh, and lots of Green Tea/Black Tea. I love the time to myself.

I bought some awesome shorts today as well! They are blue with dots and are big and puffy!!! And they actually fit me! It's weird for a pair of shorts and my arse to get along.

Here's The Cover.

Time To Update?

It has been a while since I have written on this, I haven't really had the chance to get here.

And of course, now I'm here, I don't really know what to write about.
It has been a shit few weeks for me, but i won't go into any of that, I don't like talking about my "problems" on my blog. But just so we are all aware, yes... Yes it has been rather shit.

I told Greg I would put up a cover that he and I have recently recorded, I need to put it on YouTube first, which might take a while. But while I'm here, I'll put up the original version and then I'll do another post with our version. In our version, I think my voice could be a hell of a lot better! Greg, maybe we re-record it one day? Haha.

But ignore that for now, sweet ones. Just appreciate the genius of Matt and Kim's "Daylight". A truly bright and colourful trip through Grand Street in Daylight. If you're feeling as rotten as me right now, it may help you out. Get up and dance or something, and shake off the filth of winter.



DAYLIGHT
we cut the legs off of our pants 
threw our shoes into the ocean
 sit back and wave through the daylight
 sit back and wave through the daylight
slip and slide on subway grates 
these shoes are poor mans ice skates 
fall through like change in the daylight
 fall through like change in the daylight
i miss yellow lines in my roads
 some color on monochrome 
maybe i’ll paint them in myself
 maybe i’ll paint them in myself
these sidewalks liquid then stone
 building walls and an old pay phone 
it rings like all through the daylight 
it rings like all through the daylight
and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine
 i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames 
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
 cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home
I have five clocks in my life
 and only one has the time right 
i’ll just unplug it for today
 i'll just unplug it for today
open hydrant rolled down windows 
this car might make a good old boat and float down grand street in daylight 
and float down grand street in daylight
and with just half of a sunburn 
new yellow lines that i earned 
step back and here comes the night time 
step back and here comes the night time

and in the daylight we can hitchhike to maine 
i hope that someday i’ll see without these frames 
and in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
 cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

Oh Such Fun!

Wow. What a crazy weekend. Friday at the computer place was disgusting. You know, one of those days where the customer is really pushy or horrible or whatever, the people you work with are all in bad moods and the day passes excruciatingly slowly and you just want to throw your hands up and walk out.

Then there was the exhibition of a few local photographers, I went to that very briefly before going to work at the restaurant. The restaurant was hilarious, very bloody quiet so the chef brought in his little guitar he bought from Aldi and made me teach him - so cute!! Then Rosemary, Grace and Hanli came in for a feed and told me they would dance to the bollywood playing for free food. They didn't get free food, but they did dance for quite some time.

And then after that shift was the cast party for Rent, which was so much fun! The people in that production are so easy to get along with and are hilarious!!!

Then we went out again after work yesterday and I really do hate going out in Orange, the people are rubbish.

But yes, it was quite a big weekend and I'm going to enjoy not drinking again for a bit. :D

I also found a butt-load of old photos from school and that. There are some crackers! Especially the ones from this night...

Lights in the Sky - Nine Inch Nails

I listened to this song quite alot when I was last in Canada. It's best to listen to this song when you are unhappy or if you think your mind needs slowing down.
This song has a nice raw quality to it, and I like how Trent Renzor is nearly whispering instead of singing, as if the lyrics are intended only to be heard by you and no one else.

And just as a note, if you have the NIN album "The Slip", you really ought to listen to Corona Radiata straight afterwards (as it is on the album).

She's mostly gone
Some other place
I'm getting by
In other ways
Everything they whispered in our ear
Is coming true
Try to justify the things
I used to do
Believe in you

Watching you drown
I'll follow you down
I am here right beside you
The lights in the sky
Have finally arrived
I am staying right beside you

I tried to stay away
Just in case
I've come to realize
We all have our place
Time has a way you know
To make it clear
I have my role in this
I can't disappear
Or leave you here

Watching you drown
I'll follow you down
And I am here right beside you
The lights in the sky
Are waving goodbye
I am staying right beside you

Original Song!

Finally, after however many months, we have a finished product of an original that Greg and I recorded sometime last year. Its called "Last Time", Greg wrote the whole guitar parts, and also wrote a few lyrics, and I wrote the chorus and the melody.

So, if you happen to stumble across my blog, your you're a frequent visitor, or you are a stalker, have a listen to the song (its going on youtube, the picture over the top means nothing (its itunes visualizer on my wall, nothing special) so pay it no mind.) and let me know what you think.

There will be a few more recordings coming, some original and a cover or two. So keep your eyes and ears open, and I'm totally open to feedback.

Back in the day...

I found these photos recently of me cam-whoring back in the days of Bebo and Myspace. I also found some older photos of when me and my friends introduced ourselves to alcohol. :D Fun times.

Sick, Sick, Sick.

Oh how sick I feel today. I had to leave work after I vomited in the bathroom. My head is throbbing, my ear is still aching and I still have the tasted of rejected paracetamol in the back of my mouth. Ew. I can't believe how crap I feel, and I'm trying to use the time I have to myself to write some lyrics, but nothing is really happening yet. I think something may be forming, but not sure this sick and therefore depressed state I'm in will inspire fantastic lyrics.

I'm thinking of using the title of my blog in there somewhere (haha) probably because at the moment, nothing springs to mind.

Anyway, here's to hoping i come up with something good/acceptable/at all, really. Maybe watching "GO" is killing the creative flow. Mind you, so was ABC3. TV in general maybe?

Ok, back to work, the melody is there, that's a start I guess. If i think of something good, I'll post it, tell me what you think if I get to it.

well, it has been about half an hour, still have nothing. although i did find something that I wrote a while back, but whether it can be adapted to a song (see, its somewhat of a poem i guess) remains to be seen.

The aim is to have something, anything written before the day is out. And I will post whatever I write today.

Here is me in my sick state.

Circus by Tom Waits

I'm really crushing on Tom Waits at the moment, and yes, I know he is an old man. But there is something about his smokey sleazy voice and the way he writes which I adore, and I hope at some point to write as artistically as he does. I also watched "The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus the other day, in which Tom Waits played the Devil. Honestly the coolest man to play the Devil in the history of cinema. The only let down of the movie was the special effects, but apart from that, the concept and the story line were really good, and the way they altered the storyline to fit around Heath Ledgers death was really well done.

So here is Circus by Tom Waits, with lyrics for those who want a bit of a read. Also I apologise for the crap quality of the picture, I think it's all pixellated. So again, sorry! But enjoy the song, it's warped, the drums wander in and out of time and there is an eerie music box thing that plays its own little melody over the top of the sleaze and rasp of Tom Waits.

Enjoy.



We put up our tent on a dark
Green knoll, outside of town by
The train tracks and a seagull dump
Topping the bill was Horse Face Ethel
And her 'Marvellous Pigs In Satin'

We pounded our stakes in the ground
All powder brown
And the branches spread like scary
Fingers reaching
We were in a pasture outside Kankakee

And One Eyed Myra, the queen of
The galley who trained the
Ostrich and the camels
She looked at me squinty with her
One good eye in a Roy Orbison
T-shirt as she bottle fed
An orangutan named Tripod

And then there was
Yodeling Elaine the
Queen of the air who wore a
Dollar sign medallion and she
Had a tiny bubble of spittle
Around her nostril and a
Little rusty tear, for she had
Lassoed and lost another
Tipsy sailor

And over in
The burnt yellow tent
By the frozen tractor, the
Music was like electric sugar
And Zuzu Bolin played
'Stavin' Chain' and Mighty
Tiny on the saw and he
Threw his head back with a
Mouth full of gold teeth
And they played 'Lopsided heart'
And 'Moon over Dog Street'

And by the time they played "Moanin Low"
I was soakin' wet and wild eyed
And Doctor Bliss slipped me a
Preparation and I fell asleep with
'Livery Stable Blues' in my ear

And me and Molley Hoey drank
Pruno and Koolaid and she had a
Tattoo gun made out of a cassette
Motor and a guitar string and
She soaked a hanky in 3 Roses
And rubbed it on the spot
And drew a rickety heart and
A bent arrow and it hurt like hell

And Funeral Wells spun
Poodle Murphy on the target
As he threw his hardware,
Only once in Sheboygan did he miss
At a matinee on Diamond Pier and
She'd never let him forget it

They were doing two shows and she
Had a high fever and he took
Off a piece of her ear and
Tip Little told her she should
Leave the bum
But Poodle said, "He fetched me
Last time I run."
But I'd like to hammer this ring into a bullet
And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun
My dear

And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun
My dear

Oh, Canada.

I didn't realise how much stuff I actually need to organise in order to get myself to Canada. Bloody hell, hopefully I can get it all sorted.

It's also hard doing this visa application, just because there are so many different sites, and I've never applied for one before, so I'm not 100% on which sites are good and which sites are the ones trying to rob the ignorant, like me.

I guess I just have to go with what my mum is saying, I don't think you can go wrong with the Canadian Embassy! Plus there's the updating of the passport which I have no idea how to do. But hey, it's all about research and getting it done much sooner rather than later so everything is processed in time.

The main things i need to focus on right now is updating my passport, applying for the visa, booking a flight and then on top of all that, making sure I have enough money to get me over there. As well as surviving until I manage to get a job.

Time to stop fart-arsing around!

Kurt Cobain's Suicide Letter

To Boddah:
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy,

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!